Thursday, November 10, 2011

Rules to Pursuing the "Straight Girl!"

The other day I was having a pleasant lunch date with my lesbian friend and the discussion about how to pursue straight girls came up. For those who don't hang out with many lesbians this is a common conversation. May I add, that lesbians always think they have the power to turn a straight girl into a lesbian. I find it quite hilarious but it's so very true.

So, since this conversation got brought to our attention I thought it was appropriate to talk about a blog post that was written about on one of my favorite lesbian blogs PinkInTheSheets. The post was titled "Rules For Chasing Straight Women." She broke down a couple rules in which I thought were interesting and may be very informative to some of my readers.

Rule #1: If you’re her friend (and want to stay that way) or you hope to maybe be her friend, you must be extremely cautious. Make your feelings known too soon (and without proper research) and she will run. And she may never trust you again. Friendship, or hope thereof, gone.

Rule #2: Let her make the first big move. Believe me, she will. And the beauty is that it’ll be all her idea. Then you follow her lead. She’ll quickly let you know where the boundaries are.

Rule #3: Boundaries change without notice. What was ok yesterday may not be today or what was not yesterday may be ok today. It’s confusing and you may feel like you need a score card. Don’t take it personal; it’s just the way straight girls are.

Rule #4: Her signals may not be exactly what you think they are. She leads. You follow and end up at a dead-end. Shut down. It’s like rimming a slam dunk. Not pretty. Be very careful and make completely certain that you know where she wants you to go. Reference Rules 1 – 3. Note: The consumption of alcohol tends to make things even more confusing than they need to be.

Rule #5: When they say all the “right things”, be skeptical. It’s not that they’re lying or being intentionally dishonest. It’s just that they don’t realize the impact their words can have. If you dare to believe, you will end up heartbroken. This I guarantee. I’ve heard just about everything – I love you sooo much. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you. Please don’t ever leave me (3 in a row have hit me with that one). We would be perfect together. If only you were a man, you’d be perfect. You’re the only person who I’ve believed when they told me that I’m beautiful. You’re my soul mate. I can’t imagine my life without you. I’m going to leave him (NEVER believe it). Sex with a man will never be as good as this. Yada, yada, yada.

Rule #6: Straight girls get “straight girl” guilt. Call it “Buyer’s Remorse”, if you like. It’s that feeling straight girls get the morning after. It’s when they realize what they did the night before. It might be just a kiss or something more, but they’re going to feel incredibly guilty. If there’s a boyfriend, fiancé, or husband in the picture, you’re screwed. It doesn’t matter whose idea it all was, it’ll be your fault when all is said and done. Usually this guilt leads them to bare their soul to the significant other. Unfortunately, the version of the truth that they tell is one that suits them. It’s enough of the truth to assuage their guilt, but not enough to acknowledge that they were a full participant in the situation. You’ll end up a predatory lesbian who wouldn’t take no for an answer. She, of course, is largely innocent. The result? A difficult friendship because Boyfriend doesn’t really want you anywhere near his girlfriend. Nasty interactions with said boyfriend (either via telephone, email, or in person). Oh, and the potential exists for personal protective orders.

Rule #7: They may say that they prefer kissing/having sex with women, but they always go back to men. It doesn’t matter how good at it you might be. This can be incredibly frustrating when they talk about the dismal sex they have with the Boyfriend. You can’t explain it so don’t even try. Apparently there’s more to being straight than good sex.

Rule #8: When all is said and done, straight girls are STRAIGHT. If they weren’t we wouldn’t want them like we do. They wouldn’t be as beautiful, intriguing, or challenging. They’d be gay. Lesbians. It doesn’t matter how wonderful or how good you are – you are never going to convert a straight chick. They may attend the occasional service at your church, but they will never become a regular member of the congregation. They may swim in the kiddie pool, but they will never swim in the deep end. They may play in the minors, but will never make it to the majors. Pick whichever analogy works for you. The result is always the same – straight girls stay straight. They see themselves spending the rest of their lives with a man. Much as we see ourselves spending the rest of our lives with a woman.

Rule #9: You’ll never finish any higher than second place. And, in love, if you aren’t first, you might as well be last. If she has a boyfriend, husband, fiancé, etc you are not going to win. No way. Never. Resolve right now that you are just playing. And not playing to win. If all you want is the trophy, a notch for your belt, a rack for your wall… you’ll be ok. If you don’t like the chase, don’t even bother. Chase is all you’re going to get.

Rule #10: Under no uncertain circumstances whatsoever are you to fall in love with a straight girl. Don’t do it. She may love you and even be in love with you, but it won’t change anything. You will be left empty handed and heartbroken.

I know some of these rules are discouraging for those lesbians who are trying to pursue straight women but I say don't give up. If you want her that bad and if she's worth it, I say go get her! These are the exact words that I told my friend and she went out and got herself a straight girl. Although, there are many circumstances in dating a straight girl, it's quite all right because who doesn't like a challenge? Nothing is easy in life, especially trying to turn a straight girl into a lesbian. There might be many rules to the game but it doesn't mean you have to always follow them. So, with that said, break the rules and get your girl!

Peace Love and Rainbows,

Rinagrace

6 comments:

  1. Rinagrace you are positively adorable ;*

    ReplyDelete
  2. In my opinion, there's no such thing as "turn a straight girl into a Lesbian"it just something inside them waiting for someone to dig out their true self.And that's everybody's decision whether they want to accept it or stay who they are now.
    let say if they do have feeling for us, it is scary and sometimes hard to accept it ,we've all been there so we understand.
    All we need is to seek out the truth and decide whether we are staying or moving on. cause life just keep going on, and don't let this one girl stop where you are going, keep looking, keep trying and never settle, Wha doesn't kill you makes you stronger?and Being strong and confident is sexy who doesn't want you ;)? If you believe in, Anything could happen.

    ReplyDelete
  3. In my opinion, there's no such thing as "turn a straight girl into a Lesbian"it just something inside them waiting for someone to dig out their true self.And that's everybody's decision whether they want to accept it or stay who they are now.
    let say if they do have feeling for us, it is scary and sometimes hard to accept it ,we've all been there so we understand.
    All we need is to seek out the truth and decide whether we are staying or moving on. cause life just keep going on, and don't let this one girl stop where you are going, keep looking, keep trying and never settle, Wha doesn't kill you makes you stronger?and Being strong and confident is sexy who doesn't want you ;)? If you believe in, Anything could happen.

    ReplyDelete